Copywriting Makeover: Subtle Changes Make A Big Difference, Part 2 of 2

Summary: Changing a few words in your copy can lead to double-digit increases in conversions. If that sounds like a bunch of hype, stick around and I'll show you how it's done.

In part 1 of this series (seen here: http://www.marketingwords.com/articles/articles_subtlechanges.html), we were introduced to Kneelsit.com, an Australian manufacturer of ergonomic computer chairs who was in search of a high conversion rate. After spotting several trouble areas within Kneelsit's original copy (viewable here: http://www.copywritingcourse.com/kneelsit-home-original.html), I set out to rewrite the home page with specific goals in mind. The Rewrite I really felt for the users of these chairs. They had back problems and medical issues, trying desperately to find relief. I can only imagine how it must feel to sit in pain all day, every day. And, after seeing so many false claims for other chairs, I could understand how they might be skeptical. So, after reading the new home page copy, I wanted the site visitors to have confidence, to see the difference in the Kneelsit chair and to understand the benefits this chair would offer. Of course, those in chronic pain were not the only visitors to the Kneelsit site. While they were the primary segment, the audience also consisted of those with mild back pain, those with inconsistent problems or simple fatigue, and those who simply wanted a comfortable chair that wouldn't contribute to any future back problems. The copy also needed to meet their needs and provide the information they were seeking. You can see the revised copy here: http://www.copywritingcourse.com/kneelsit-home-new.pdf. The Headline The original headline did, in fact, list benefits. It stated: Superb Comfort, Perfect Posture, Gentle Movement, Natural Balance However, only one of those benefits spoke to audience members